Shitizen

Shitizen - a shitty citizen. 

"Doesn't it just make you happy to watch a bunch of shitizens trash their town after a bunch of athletes win (or lose!) a championship there?"

Clitteralist

Clitteralist - somebody literally made of clitorises (clitorii?). Yes, I'm aware that is both gross and not possible.

Again, not sure where my head is at with this one.

Fappiary

Fappiary - an aviary for fapping (masturbating).

"Not the kind of birds I'm used to being around while fapping but the fappiary was an unusual twist, that's for sure."

Glaccident

Glaccident - a glass accident, an all too familiar event among butter fingered pot smokers.

"Dooood, I borrowed your Graphix and had a glaccident with it, I get paid next week and will replace it then, sorry, brah."

Ignoramuse

Ignoramuse - when someone is so impenetrably stupid that their ignorance is amusing. Or someone who's ignorance is so impenetrable that they are used as a muse for someone else to riff off of (think Rep. Steve King's mind boggling gall to declare Ebola airborne and that the doctors treating Ebola patients aren't to be believed).

Shockingly idiotic comments that other shockingly idiotic people glom onto as if they have even a shred of factual reality within them.

Fiture

Fiture - a fit future, what every body tries to start the New Year with.

"Looking forward to bright fiture with a new gym membership and a subscription to the Yoga Pants of the Month Club."

Insirance

Insirance - insurance against sirs. This was much more popular back in the days of knights and primae noctis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Droit_du_seigneur).

"He came to get her but I showed my insirance card and he had to go take the neighbor's daughter instead."

Pedestrianaise

Pedestrianaise - the sandwich topping made when a pedestrian gets creamed by a car.

Yeah, I have no idea what I'm doing this morning either.

Erectify

Erectify - to rectify with an erection, ie. fornicate your way back into good graces.

"At first she was super pissed that he was late and had gotten his eye brows shaved off by his jerk friends, but he erectified things properly before the evening got too out of hand."

Manglish

Manglish - mangled English, what most Americans seem to think is proper English where commas are extraneous and spelling is for losers and libtards... looks like "lol ur a fuking dumass".

"You argument hits a sizable obstacle when you resort to using manglish as a means to try and convince me, I can't even understand half of what you wrote."

Erigance

Erigance - Erik + arrogance. Yes, my housemate coined this on me last night. 

"Erik, your erigance is showing, confidence is sexy, being an arrogant dicknugget? Not so much."

Note: Photo may not be of an Erik or Eric but he's clearly displaying some erigance here.

Furstration

Furstration - frustrated with fur.

"Man, she was beautiful but nothing but furstration when I got her naked."

Custory and Curstory

Custory - a custody story.
Curstory - a custory story full of curses or a story about mongrel dogs.

"She spun out a pretty ridiculous custory for the judge who bought not a word of it and granted full custody to the dad."

"His cause was lost when he raged into a curstory in the middle of the hearing, judges tend to side with the side NOT shouting FUCK YOU at them, weird, I know."

Pedestrianaise

Pedestrianaise - the sandwich topping made when a pedestrian gets creamed by a car.

Yeah, I have no idea what I'm doing this morning either.

Scumbank

Scumbank - Bank of America, USBank and the other banks that shoved our economy to the brink of ruin for their greed are scumbanks. Too big to fail means these greedheaded scumbanks have NO incentive to follow the law so they don't.

"I got another dirty offer from my scumbank to stop paying my mortgage so they'll 'help' me out. The help they will offer is to take my house and kick my family out onto the street."

Brinette

Brinette - a very "salty" or sour brunette.

"Don't bother with her, she looks nice but she's all brinette up close."

Concours de Peligance

Concours de Peligance - when the pelicans fly up and down the coast in huge formations (I saw one of over a hundred yesterday), they are a Concours de Peligance.

The included video isn't quite what I mean but it is pretty darned pretty nonetheless. Definitely need to get the GoPro going as the scenery from out in the bay is spectacular!

Ammosexual

Ammosexual - the gender term for the Open Carry and Stand Your Ground loons who insist on demonstrating their gun love openly.

"I was going to get a coffee at Starbucks but there were too many ammosexual knobs parading around out front with their penis substitutes in their arms."

Ht to +Paul Gatling (I think)

Delicktable

Delicktable - so delicious looking as to make you want to lick it, be they legs, noms or a computer screen.

Inspired by +Lisa Silvey's legs.

Iceborg

Iceborg - an unstoppable race of ice based beings with greater technology and sallow skin.

Think the White Walkers in Game of Thrones.

Grassias

Grassias - what you say when someone has given you a whole bunch of free marijuana.

"Grassias for the mass-ias of grass, ya ass!"

Prusade

Prusade - a prudish crusade. Taking your morals and deciding that they are awesome enough to force on everyone else.

The Utah mother who bought up all the PacSun that had an "offensive" graphic on them is a perfect example of a prusade.

"Her prusade was fruitless though, they just ordered more shirts and had better sales that day."

Cannabisalism

Cannabisalism - getting really high and getting munchies bad enough to eat someone.

"Almost thought I'd resort to cannabisalism but then I remembered the box of Cheezits."

Whosband

Whosband - when you can't ever seem to remember that that hot friend of yours is married.

"After the third round I found myself not even giving a slight damn that he's a whosband, I was gonna get some!"

Namasturbation

Namasturbation - masturbating in or to yoga attire.

"I was trying to release my chakras but ended up just getting into some deeply spiritual namasturbation."

Brotein

Brotein - getting a little extra shot of protein by blowing your buddy and swallowing.

Why yes, yes I do sometimes disgust my own self.

Snarkour

Snarkour - using one's mental agility and wit to snark, demean and otherwise elicit humor from online comments.

"We gathered on SFGate's Daily Dish pages for another exciting snarkour workout amongst the celebrity gossip news and scandals."

Cuberty

Cuberty - coming of age while playing Minecrack ,ahem, I meant Minecraft. Or the process of going from a pwned noob to becoming a Redstone Master (or whatever the term is for a kid who spends 99% of his waking brain power on Minecraft).

"His voice didn't change when he hit cuberty but his builds definitely matured from the TNT villages to actual constructions."