21 March 2019

Trolliosis

Trolliosis - a curvature of the spine brought on by being hunched over a keyboard sending troll comments out across the internet tubes. Related to crapal tunnel syndrome (I know what I wrote).

"No wonder that pasty bastard never goes outside, his trolliosis has him nearly doubled over like an a-frame."

Incarcination

Incarcination - an incarceration nation, what the US has become since the advent and explosive growth of the for-profit prisons.

"America calls itself the land of the free and home of the brave but it isn't free any more, it is an incarcination."

Pretect

Pretect - preventative protection, perhaps the act of putting a condom in your wallet (bad place for them, btw) would be an example of pretection.

Fappiary

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Loafamotive

Loafamotive - a slow or often late train.

"My boss isn't buying my loafamotive excuse anymore, I may have to get out and walk."

Accooterments

Accooterments - additional items of dress or equipment, or other items carried or worn by a person or used for a particular activity for your vagina or vajaynay or vajizzle, whichever makes you smile.

"She pulled off her thong and she had a little sparkly and bell ringing Christmas tree brooch accooterment hanging above her pussy."

Rumpor

Rumpor - a rumor about a rump. Or a rumor that came out of someone's backside (ie. lies).

"The dude couldn't stop spreading rumpors about his not-thicc girlfriend."

Shrivileged

Shrivileged - shriveled privilege. The very worst thing that could ever (EVER) happen to a white upper class man.

"The poor, poor, dear, ever since he had that major shrivilege episode, he's just not been the same hateful racist sack of crap I married."

Invaledictorian

Invaledictorian - the student with the lowest GPA in the class.

"The invaledictorian's commencement speech included grunts and hand gestures..."

Emphassis

Emphassis - being an ass about where to put the emphasis on a word.

"I have a dream about going on Jeopardy and answering everything correctly but putting the wrong emphassis on every word so Trebek gets all huffy and annoyed."

Stupport

Stupport - stupid support in the face of evidence that your support is unwarranted. See the 2016 election farce where super delegates pledged their fealty to Hillary Clinton well in advance of the primaries and made her think her presidency was inevitable. But her stupport failed to account for how weary the populace was and is of dynasties that do nothing but perpetuate the status quo.

"Hillary's stupport came from a bought and paid for network of toadies, sycophants and political climbers banking on her win so they could advance themselves. At no point did anyone in her campaign stop and actually consider the fact that they could lose."

Weasoning

Weasoning - weasel reasoning. Like Hannity or Alex Jones or any of the other smear wankers who take one thing, blow it all out of proportion and then ignore everything else to rant and spit and behave like 7 year olds in need of a spanking.

Homo fapien

Homo fapien - pronounced fay-pian - the forever alone guy who must fap his own way.

Sherparone

Sherparone - a chaperone who doubles as a Sherpa (can you hold my jacket?).

Deathtiny

Deathtiny - how you are destined to die, your death destiny, as it were. Pronounced like destiny with a lisp.

"It was always my deathtiny to return to Westeros to die."

Cockument

Cockument - a document about penises or documentation of sexual harassment.

"Matt thought he was going to slip through and not get outed as a sexual predator but when Ann produced the cockument with details and dates, he knew it was game over."

Empty

Electro
Magnetic
Pulse,
Thank
You

Empty. Yeah, this is what my brain decides to do when it doesn't want to let me go to sleep.

Surepa

Surepa - someone's who is always ready and willing to help carry something by saying "Sure!" a sherpa who says sure!

Hill-'splain

Hill-'splain - a political bend to the pejorative man'splaining when a man feels the need to explain something basic to a woman because he fundamentally believes she's not capable of understanding it until he explains it to her.

"The Clintonista tried to Hill-'splain it all away why a supposedly healthy person would have a rolling hospital traveling with them everywhere. And failed miserably at making any valid points, as usual."

Wreckoning

Wreckoning - a wrecked reckoning. A mangled personal calculation, like when someone thinks they can clear a 6 foot jump and cannot.

Pundititis

Pundititis - afflicted with the need to be a pundit, sadly its terminal, you'll die a know it all.

Yeah, it has been a while. My brain works in fits and starts (better than stits and farts) and sometimes I need a kick to get the creative part back into gear.

Maybe this is the start of a wave, maybe not.

Tersla

Tersla - an un-talkative Tesla owner.

"That guy's a real Tersla type, no interest in talking about his cool Tesla."

Fuckle

Fuckle - a fickle fucker.

"That fuckle has a neckbeard and a boiler but he's also got a trust fund so I guess it all evens out."

Chuckleschmuck

Chuckleschmuck - a Trump supporter, marked by irrational anger, ignorance, small hands, bad hair and a permanent expression of painful constipation.

"Let me be perfectly clear, you cannot support Donald Trump and NOT be a chuckleschmuck."

Hourlay

Hourlay - the hourly rate of a prostitute. Or the hourly rate of a surrogate chicken to sit on some eggs.

"I wanted to spend some time with her but her hourlay rate was a step or two above my pay grade."

Fleshback

Fleshback- when you have flashbacks to recent (or maybe not so recent) sexy flesh on flesh times.

"I was in the grocery store and the produce department sent me into a fleshback from last night's rompy pompy time!"

Shamateurism

Shamateurism - when the amateur status of an event is a complete sham. As in calling the Olympics the best of amateur athletics, it isn't and hasn't been for decades. Taken from a Twitter conversation.

Also gives rise to other spin off words like:
Scamateurism - a fake amateur competing.
Shamateurism - a shamefully fake amateur competing (think Mike Tyson wearing a glue on mustache).
Shamanateurism - when a shaman tries to get in on an amateur competition (admittedly a silly one).

Twitterhea

Twitterhea - an incessant need to tweet the minutiae of your day regardless of interest to others.

"I had to mute his account again as his twitterhea was getting out of control, again."

Almost certainly not a newly coined word.

Tachnical

Tachnical - tactically technical or technically tactical, your choice.

I live in a Nerf blaster world, my life is all about tachnical, tacticool and tactidrool.

Greeditarian

Greeditarian - if someone's "need" for more wealth supersedes other people's needs for food and shelter then they are a Greeditarian.

"Expecting the Greeditarians to think of others is about as sensible as hoping the shark is a vegetarian."

Algorerithms

Algorerithms - the formulas used to figure out how much money to give to Al Gore to offset your carbon footprint. He'll totally buy trees and shit with it, for sure.

Celibatetory

Celibatetory - celebrating being celibate.

Snowglobed

Snowglobed - when someone capriciously (or seemingly so) upends your life making you have to scramble to put everything back together, that is called getting snowglobed.

"My boss snowglobed me and then submitted his own resignation, hard not to take that a little personally when he went out of his way to fuck my life up on his way out the door."

Ratiowned

Ratiowned - when your tweet gets virtually no likes or retweets and a whole bunch of replies correcting your stupidity/ignorance/Bernie smear and you get owned by Twitter, you have been ratiowned.

"Dave got ratiowned again and again when he tried to smear Bernie with his garbage centrist talkings points and then he tried to assert that he was the left." (based on a true story).

Icean

Icean - an ice cold ocean.

"You can't go out in that icean without a decent wetsuit, at least a 5 mill, bro!"

Acronymonious

Acronymonious - bitterly angry about the use of acronyms.

"All I did was mentionhow much I love my new scuba gear with laser range finder on top and he was all acronymonious with me about it."

Emberrassed

Emberrassed - when you're so embarrassed that your ass is on fire from all of the butt hurt, from the root words, ember and assed.

"You'd think someone would get emberrassed after making so many flagrantly false predictions but nope, Nate Silver's still out there pretending he knows what's happening."

Delicktable

Delicktable - so delicious looking you just want to lick it, yes, this can apply to food and people. Delectable mushed with a lick.

Anuscript

Anuscript - a story about an asshole or when you pull a story out of your ass at the last minute.

"That anuscript is a walk down holes I've known lane."

Phallacy

Phallacy - a fake phallus (yes, I'm aware that's an oxymoron).

Scrumbag

Scrumbag - a dirty piece of shit rugby player.

"That scrumbag poked me in the eyes in our last match!"